The subtle art of saying NO!

1. “ Thanks for asking, but no, I won’t be available to do that” how easy is it for you to say No to people? Sometimes, saying No becomes a burden, it is difficult to say for several reasons.

But what you don’t know is that, sometimes saying No is blissful and awards respect than saying Yes.

I will be shining light on this, so come along. Before going in, let me share with you a horrible thing someone did to me in relation to this topic.

I was busy with a lot of things and I had a task I must finish, my health was not so good at that time, so in order to meet up, I had to delegate tasks. I reached out to a former colleague of mine whom I know can do the job.

I was not banking on our relationship, I was ready to pay for the task because I hate using my relationship with people to ask for free work. It is inappropriate. So I asked this guy for my bill, and he asked me to brief him about the task which I did.

I gave him a deadline and everything he needed to complete the task, I explained my situation to him because this is something I can do, but I simply do not have the capacity at the moment. He agreed to do the work.

From time to time, I was messaging this guy to know the update, and he told me he is already working on it.
Note that he is yet to give me the price for the task but I was always asking him everytime I sent a reminder, I was ready to pay upfront, this guy was my last hope for the task and he missed the first deadline.

I told him how important this work was for me and the damage it could cause if I should miss the next deadline. Trust me, this guy said he would deliver, but he did not.

I messaged him few days to the next deadline and he stopped responding to my messages, he stopped picking my calls, I begged him to let me know if it is not possible, this guy wouldn’t say anything. I was really helpless, I had to find another alternative, thanks to my Cheeseball.

Recounting this story, I am still angry and irritated at what happened. Until now, this guy is yet to call me to give me reasons why he did what he did. He is still checking my status, I did not block him because there was no closure, I find it hard to forgive him because he is someone I place up there, but he fell really low.

I have referred this guy to people, I just didn’t know why he did what he did. He could have said NO! I did not force him, I asked if he was ready to do the job, and he said YES, why not NO? I would have looked for an alternative earlier.

Saying NO when necessary

Not saying NO has definitely ruined the relationship we have, I don’t want to be associated with him, and I will never refer him for anything.

Now that is the story, sometime we need to say the difficult two letters word “NO” and it would save us a lot of things, some people find it hard to say No from childhood, some are people pleaser while some just want to prove they are capable.

Since I started saying NO when necessary, I have helped myself a lot. It is therapeutic. I remember when I used to say yes to different tasks, and it was overwhelming, I had to learn the art of saying no, and it has really been helpful.

I am not saying you should say no everytime, but sometimes, you know that you can’t do what they are asking for or it will be too difficult and uncomfortable for you, yet you will say YES and do it at your own risk.

I know It may be difficult to say no to your boss at work or someone you look up to, but sometimes, that is what you should say, the manner with which you say no is important of course.

When saying no, remember sometimes you have to sacrifice but put your discretion and know when to say no and Yes, remember it’s better to say no than saying yes only for you to do a horrible job or disappointing.

Be polite with it, say no when you are busy and can not accommodate more task, say No when you know the work will be a burden to you, say no when you feel like saying NO, you will not Die.

However, only say it when necessary. There are times you sacrifice for people you love, but make sure you say that word when it’s necessary, not because you want to please people. It’s OK to say no!

Thanks for reading, I will definitely love to see your comments. Read my previous post a gift from you to you!