Loving Me the Way I Want to Be Loved: Thoughtfulness and Romance in Relationships.

I came across a tweet last month that I felt I should weigh in on, but I’ve been busy. The tweet caused a lot of drama on Twitter, sparking hot takes and back-and-forth discussions. I’ll share the tweet below.

This lady mentioned that her boyfriend isn’t romantic. He rarely buys her flowers but gets her other things and is thoughtful overall. However, she loves flowers and romance. She’s come to terms with the fact that he’s not romantic, but I feel she was misunderstood.

This scenario brings up an important question about thoughtfulness and romance in relationships. Many people argued that his thoughtfulness was romantic and that she should be grateful. However, I find it odd that he can go out of his way to buy her other gifts and surprise packages, yet not get her the one thing she truly wants flowers. What would it take for him to buy her some flowers?

Thoughtfulness and Romance in Relationships

Personally, I believe that if you can afford something and it’s not harmful, you should be able to get your partner what they really want, not just what you think they should want. This is where it gets tricky. Thoughtfulness and romance in relationships can sometimes overlap, but why choose between the two when you can do both?

This isn’t just about gifts, either. For example, if your wife is into skincare, and you notice she’s running out of products but is low on cash, you surprise her by buying all her skincare essentials. That’s thoughtfulness, and it’s sweet. Romance, on the other hand, is knowing she loves chocolate and flowers and giving her those at every chance you get, aside from the skincare.

It’s not to say that only women are the recipients of romance. Take my husband, for example. He’s a football fan. If I notice his boots are getting old and worn, and I decide to get him a new pair, that’s me being thoughtful. But he also loves cute little notes and good morning messages. Imagine if I only bought him what I thought he needed and skipped the notes. That would mean I’m not loving him in his love language.

Here’s the key: no matter how much you do for someone, if you’re not loving them in the way they want to be loved, it will never feel like enough.

In conclusion, when it comes to thoughtfulness and romance in relationships, there’s no way to be romantic without being thoughtful, but you can definitely be thoughtful without being romantic.

What do you think about rhis whole convo,  I will be waiting for your thoughts in the comments section.

There’s this app I’m currently enjoying,  It’s a good place to document your feelings and stay motivated,  you can take a lookGratitude App